Not exactly sure how I’m going to, or how well it will pan out, but I’m going to at least make a noticeable attempt. I’m not happy with my mindset. I feel like I used to be a much more upbeat, positive person. And for the past year or so, I feel like I’ve gotten really cold and hard. Not necessarily in the way that I treat or interact with people, but in the way that I think. I’ve become more jealous of others. I inwardly sigh when I see couples. I roll my eyes when I see happy people. It’s pitiful, sad, and just plain wrong.
I feel like maybe the things that I’ve dealt with within the past year have just made me much more harsh than I used to be. It was kind of my epitome of losing innocence; either through experience, hear say, or what I saw. It made me take a step back multiple times to say ”Wow. What the heck happened?”
But that’s what I’m doing now, looking at myself. What the heck happened to me? I don’t know what I’m sitting around waiting for. I keep thinking that something is going to cause a change, but in reality, I’m just testing my own patience.